What’s black, red, black, red, black, red?
A zebra with a sun burn.
At work: Excuse me, may I disturb you shortly?
Of course, what is it?
Nothing, I just wanted to disturb you.
Andy has 150 candy bars. He eats 125. What does Andy have now?
Andy has diabetes now.
It has four legs and it can fly, what is it?
Whenever I’m sad I just read my blood donor ID.
It always says “B positive”.
Share husband wife jokes with your friends and family members.
One twin to the other: "You are ugly."
What is the tallest piece of furniture?
The bookcase. It’s got the most stories.
Q: What is blue and smells like red paint?
A: Blue paint.
A guy orders at a bakery, "I'd like 19 buns please."
The baker suggests, "I think you should take 20, sir."
"Why?" asks the man, puzzled.
The baker replies, "That way, you would have one more!"
I was devastated to hear that Peter died. Are you coming to his funeral?
And why should I? He’s not coming to mine, either.
A crying son runs to his mom: “Mom, mom, (sniff), Grandpa slapped me in the face.”
Grandpa approaches: “Stop lying or I’ll do it again!”
Oh, they were laughing when I told them I’m becoming a stand-up comedian. Well, ha! They’re not laughing now!
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