A cop talks to a truck driver: Your head light is broken,
your tyre must be exchanged and your bumper hangs halfway down.
That will be 250 dollars.
Truck Driver: Great, go ahead. They want double as much as that at the garage. 😂😎
Little Johnny breaks an antique painting at a rich uncle‘s home.
The uncle gets angry and yells: “Do you even know how old the painting was? It was from the 15th century!”
The boy: “Great, it wasn’t new.” 😅
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
The don’t meet the koalafications. 😆
Adam goes to the consultant: “What is your fee?”
Consultant: “500 US dollars for 3 questions.”
Adam: “Great - too much! It's a little expensive, isn't?”
Consultant: “Yes, what is your third question?” 😝
Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing. 😅
Doctor: “Can you tell me more about the snake that bit you?”
Patient: “Why not. It looked like an angry rope. 😎
What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?
Father reads some bedtime stories to make child fall asleep.
An hour later mom opens the door and asks: “is he asleep?”
Child answers: “Yes, finally” 😅
Doctor: You must immediately lose weight!
Do not eat more than 1000 calories per day!
Patient: "Before or after meals?" 😎😝
Share husband wife jokes with your friends and family members.
How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?
Ten tickles. 😆
Man to his wife: “Do you know what our 6 year old son wants to be once he’s big?”
Man: “A garbage man. And you know why?”
Wife: “No, why?”
Man: “Because he thinks they only work on Tuesdays.” 😃
Did you hear about the waffle iron with anger issues?
He just flipped. 😎😝
Traffic Police: “Your truck is overloaded. I cannot let you go like that.
I have to take away your driving license.”
Truck Driver: “You are joking, right? The license can only weigh one ounce tops!” 😆
A taxi driver calls his boss, "Boss, my mirror is broken."
The boss replies, "No problem then just buy a new one and replace it then."
The taxi driver answers, "I cannot. The taxi is laying on it." 😂
Why do they serve yogurt at museums?
Because it’s cultured. 😎😝
What do you call a group of berries playing instruments?
A jam session. 😆
A recent public survey showed that out of 458,729,419,728 people, 96% are too lazy to read that number. 😀😎
Bus driver to passenger: Don’t you want to sit down?
Passenger: No, I am in a hurry. 😉
Which bird has the worst manners?
Mocking birds. 😆
Joe says to Johnny: “You know, it’s a good thing we aren’t Korean.”
Johnny is puzzled: “Why?”
John explains: “Because we don’t know a word of Korean.” 😁
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