Dad looks at his teenage son 👦, “Joe, you’ve been adopted.”
Joe jumps up, “Adopted! Where is my biological dad?”
Dad 👨 laughs, “No no, Joe, I am your biological dad.
But you need to get packing; your adoptive dad will be here in half an hour.”
Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Son 👦 says, “Dad, can you call mummy’s phone 📱 ? She cannot find it.”
Dad 👨 replies, “Why not! ‘Mummy’s phone! Mummy’s phone!’” 😀
Dad: What’s the difference between a wasp and a fly?
Son: A wasp can fly, but a fly can’t wasp.
Little Amy asks her dad at Lunch time, “Dad, can you please teach me how to make eggs 🥚?”
Dad shakes his head, “Nope.”
“But why dad? I want to know! “
The dad winks at her, “I cannot teach you how to make eggs because I am not a hen.” 🤣
What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine. 😂
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. 😁
I gave my dad $200 and
said, “Buy something from this money that will make your life comfortable.”
So my dad went to the market and bought a present for my mother. 😂
If you ever get cold, stand in the corner of a room for a while.
They’re usually 90 degrees. 😆
Share husband wife jokes with your friends and family members.
On holiday my eight year old son, Jack, and I were at the pool 🏊,
where some attractive young girls wearing short bikinis were sunning themselves.
I noticed that Jack kept staring at them, but he would occasionally glance back at me.
When they got up to leave, Jack watched them particularly closely.
I was bracing myself for questions he might have when he turned to me and whispered,
"Dad, can I take that chocolate 🍫 those girls left behind?"😂
Son: “How do I look, Dad?!”
Dad: “With your eyes, handsome.”😀
Son: “Dad, My friend told me that I am adopted. Am I adopted?”
Dad: “Not yet, it seems nobody is interested.“🤣
A dad goes to the doctor 👨⚕️ and says: “Doctor my son swallowed a key 🔑. Can you please get it out of his stomach?”
The Doctor asks: “When did he swallow it?”
Dad says, “About 8 months ago.”
The Doctor questions, “Really? Why are you coming so late?!”
Dad answers, “Because, I lost my last spare key.”😂
Son: I met Bruce Lee’s vegetarian brother today.
Dad: What is his name? Son: His name is Brocko Lee.🤣
Son: Dad 👨, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?
Dad: OK, let’s hear the good news first.
Son: I got a A+ grade in Math today.
Dad: That’s good! And now the bad one.
Son: That was a lie.😂
Three guys stole a calendar. They got four months each. 😁
Question - I'm reading a book on the history of glue.
Answer - I just can't seem to put it down. 😀
Dad: “How Was Your First Day In School 🏫?”
Son: “First Day? Do You Mean I Have To Go Back Tomorrow?😀
Dad 👨 was upset with his son wasting time on Facebook,
One day he went to his son and said;
Dad: Son, leave this Facebook, it is not going to give you bread!
Son: Papa, I know it is not the one who gives me bread, but the one who makes bread (Wife)! 🤣
What do you call a fake noodle?
An Impasta. 😃
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was too tired. 😂
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