Little Joe: “Miss Julia, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”
Miss Julia is shocked, “Of course not, Joe, that would be very unfair!”
Little Joe is relieved, “OK Miss Julia, sorry, I haven’t done my homework.”🤣
What key is used to open bananas? 🍌
A mon-key. 🐒
Teacher: "Alex, Admit it. Didn't your parents 👪 help with homework?”
Alex 🧒 replied: "Absolutely no. They did it all themselves!"🤣
What gets wetter the more it dries?
Why was the broom 🧹 late to class?
Son: “Father, what is an alcoholic?”
Father: “Do you see those 2 dogs🐕? An alcoholic would see 4 dogs.”
Son: “Dad – there is only 1 dog.” 🤣
Why can't your hand be 12 inches long?
Then it would be a foot.
What do you call a funny mountain? ⛰️
Alex at dinner 🍽️ table: "Father, is it OK to eat flies?"
Father: "Alex, It's so disgusting!"
Alex shrugs and continues to eat.
Father approaches the child 🧒 after dinner and
says, "OK, I'm happy you have scientific interests. Now what was it you wanted to know about eating flies?"
Alex says, "Well you had one in your plate; I just wanted to know if you meant to eat it.
But I guess it doesn't matter anymore."😅😆
What did the nose tell the finger?
Stop picking on me!
What do you call an alligator 🐊 in a vest?
A helicopter 🚁 with 4 people on board is about to crash.
The 4 people are the pilot, the prime minster, the world’s intelligent man and a eight year old kid.
There were only 3 parachutes 🪂 in helicopter.
The prime minster: “I am the prime minister, people need me to live!” and he jumps out.
The world’s smartest man: “I am the world’s intelligent man, I’m needed in the world!” and he jumps out.
The pilot sighs and says, “You take the last parachute, kid, I’ll go down with the helicopter, that’s my job.”
The kid smiles, “The world’s intelligent man took my backpack🎒.” 😆
What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?🏫
Why does a seagull fly over the sea
Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
A man arrived in a small country town on Friday.
He stayed there for three days and then left on Friday.
How is that possible?
His horse was called Friday!
Kid - Papa, Please buy a guitar 🎸 for me!!
Dad- I will not, you will disturb people.
Kid - No, I will not disturb anyone, I will play when everyone is sleeping.
What kind of water cannot freeze?
How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words!
Math Teacher 👩🏫: OK students, when I ask you a question,
I want you all to answer me at once. How much is four times 7?
All Students: "At once!"😂
How do you make an octopus 🐙 laugh?
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
Father 👨 on the last day of school 🏫: So, where is your report card, James?
James 🧒🏻: Sorry, I will bring it a day later.
James: I borrowed it to Robert because he wanted to scare his father. 😆
Why don’t elephants 🐘 chew gum?
They do, just not in public.
How do you get a squirrel 🐿️ to like you?
Act like a nut!
Little Johnny is about to have a big exam and
his father says: “If you don’t pass that exam, you can forget that you’re my son!”
The next day Little Johnny comes home and his father asks him how he did in the exam.
Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “And who are you?” 😆😂
School Teacher 👩🏫 : "John, You got a zero in the last test."
John 🧒🏻: "I don’t think I deserve a zero!"
School Teacher: "I know John that but I can’t go any lower than that."😆
Sophia buys 7 toffees 🍬. Her friend Natasha asks her for 4 of them.
How many toffees does Sophia end up with?
Kid: 7, Sophia is quite a greedy girl.🤣
Share husband wife jokes with your friends and family members.
Teacher: "Why are you so late today?"
Alex: "Well I was crossing the street and suddenly it says "School 🏫 ahead, Go slowly!" 😆😂
Mother is waking her son : “Joe, wake up, you have to go to school.🏫”
Joe reply: “Aw mother, just a bit more sleep, please.”
Mother: “No, already late, now get up.”
Joe: “But I don’t want to. The children annoy me and the teachers are a complete pain!”
Mother: “Stop it, now and Get up.”
Joe: “Mother, give me two good reasons why I should.”
Mother: “John, first, you’re 35, and second, you’re the principal of the school.”
James runs to his and says, “Father, father…”
His father 👨 angrily says, “From now on you’ll speak only when I’ve asked you something!”
James thinks few seconds and continues, “Ok, can you please ask me if you’ve forgotten to put in the handbrake
and if your truck is now rolling down the street?”
Father: Son, do you enjoy going to school 🏫?
Son: Well, the going part is OK, and the coming back bit is fine too,
but the time in between is what makes it all so frustrating!😆
John asks his Father 👨, “Father, can you write with closed eyes?”
Father replies, “I think I can do it, if I tried.”
John says, “Great, do you think you should try this on my school report?”🤣
20 chimneys plus 7 chimneys plus 3 chimneys.
What is the result?
Lots of smoke.
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