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Little Johnny Jokes Collection

Funny Jokes

Little Johnny Jokes # 1

Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?”
Little Johnny: “My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep."

Little Johnny Jokes # 2

Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused.
She says, “Johnny, if I hear one more time ‘Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that’, you will be in big trouble! I don’t want to hear the word mommy again tonight. Now off to bed you go!”
There’s a short pause, after which Johnny says hesitantly, “Mrs Lambden, I want a glass of water, please.”

Little Johnny Jokes # 3

Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”
Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!”
Little Johnny is relieved, “OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven’t done my homework.”

Little Johnny Jokes # 4

The teacher was trying to put to use her recent psychology education.
She asked everyone in her class, "Alright, if any of you think you are stupid, please stand up!"
A few seconds pass by and then Little Johnny stands up.
Startled, the teacher says, "Oh, do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, Miss, but I didn’t want to leave you standing all alone!"

Little Johnny Jokes # 5

Teacher: “If you had two dollars and you asked your daddy for another dollar, how many dollars would you have in the end?”
Without hesitation, Johnny answers, “Two dollars.”
Teacher isn’t happy, “Come on, Johnny, you don’t know how to count.”
Johnny shrugs, “Maybe, but I do know my dad!”

Little Johnny Jokes # 6

Teacher cracks down on Little Johnny: “Come now, Johnny! Admit it. You had your parents help you with the homework, didn’t you?”
Little Johnny replies: “Absolutely not. They did it all by themselves!”

Little Johnny Jokes # 7

Little Johnny to his mom: “I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!”
Mom: “Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?”
Little Johnny: “Not really, we played 2:2.”

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Little Johnny Jokes # 8

Little Johnny was late for school. The teacher asked him why, and Little Johnny explained it was because he met a man who had lost his wallet on the street.
“Ah,” nodded the teacher, “you were helping him find it!”
“Um, not really,” said Johnny, “but I had to keep standing on it until he would give up and go away.”

Little Johnny Jokes # 9

During an English lesson, the teacher asks, "Can anyone give me an example for the word ‘COINCIDENCE’?” Little Johnny volunteers, "Sir, my mum and dad were married on the same day."

Little Johnny Jokes # 10

Teacher asks his class one day, “What would you like to be when you grow up?”
Little Johnny answers first, saying, “I will follow in my father’s footsteps and become a policeman.”
Teacher raises his eyebrows, “Johnny, I didn’t know your father is a policeman.”
“Well, he isn’t,” explains Johnny. “He’s a burglar.”

Little Johnny Jokes # 11

Raphael runs to his father and starts talking to him urgently, “Dad, dad…”
His father turns to him angrily and says, “I’ve had it with you constantly interrupting me. From now on you’ll speak only when I’ve asked you something!”
Raphael thinks for a second and continues, “OK dad, can you please ask me if you’ve forgotten to put in the handbrake and if your car is now rolling down the road?”

Little Johnny Jokes # 12

After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, “You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. And why is that?”
Little Johnny offers, "Miss, it’s so we wouldn’t wake all those people sleeping."

Little Johnny Jokes # 13

Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, “Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?”
Little Johnny smiles proudly, “No Miss, there’s no need, my mom cooks really well.”

Little Johnny Jokes # 14

Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”
Little Johnny: “Oh mom, do you realize what you just said?”

Little Johnny Jokes # 15

Teacher asks Little Johnny, “Johnny, how old is your father?”
“He’s as old as me,” Johnny informs her.
“Now how would that be possible?” inquires the surprised teacher.
“Well – he became father the day I was born.”

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